


Still breathing

by siberianchan



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Gen, High School AU, I love the idea of him being a cat, Major warning for a character getting severly hurt and being disabled, Modern AU, Rating it for teens because mentions of sex, Toothless is a cat here, also some language, however, milleniumrex, no I am NOT killing anyone off, written as a commision piece for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9228317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siberianchan/pseuds/siberianchan
Summary: It is summer, school's out, the gang enjoys summer vacation - until Astrid has an accident and has to face major changes in her life.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [milleniumrex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/milleniumrex/gifts).



Astrid waved when she saw Hiccup leaving the rather pretty apartment building and jumped off the small wall, sauntering over to him, as he walked down the stairs, Toothless balancing precariously on his shoulder.  
“Hey there, fiddlesticks.” She greeted him with a kiss, a slender, firm hand running through his hair and then over Toothless' silky, black coat, that was wonderfully cool after having spent a few hours in an air-conditioned building instead of the blazing summer sun.  
The cat broke into a loud purr hat her touch and leaned into it.  
Hiccup gave her flaxen braid a short, affectionate tug. “If you continue to call me that, I might feel the need to question your taste in men.”  
“And why?”, she asked, leaning against him. “Just because I happen to be one of the people who like their men the same as their coffee?”  
Hiccup snorted and carefully shifted his shoulder to help Toothless balance. “And that would be?”  
Astrid's bright, blue eyes sparkled with good humor. “Sweet, invigorating, smart.”  
“Wasn't aware that coffee could be smart.” Hiccup leaned in for another short kiss and tasted a pleasant hint of ginger ale, mingling with the scent of the ever present sea breeze in her hair and on her skin. “Ho was the game?”  
“As expected.” Astrid grinned. “Beskre High is well and truly crushed, but they took it pretty well. Picked out a nice place for the after-game pizza massacre. Well, Dagur pouted all the way through, but eh, what's new.”  
His stomach tugged at him with guilt. “Sorry, I missed it.”  
She merely shrugged and got them walking away from the building. “You're there almost every time, and it was an emergency. How are things at the shelter?”  
“Sally died, but her pups are well.” Hiccup ran a hand over his face, stifling a yawn. “I mean, it's not like the vet didn't warn us... she was too old to have babies, but... well, anyway”, he concluded with a deep breath. “Sweet Pea has adopted the puppies as her own.”  
Astrid ran a hand over his wrist. “Sorry to hear that. About Sally, not the puppies. But... Sweet Pea is a spaniel.”  
Hiccup felt his mouth twitch up. “Yep.”  
“And Sally was a Rottweiler.”  
“Yep.” But despite the urge to smile, Hiccup did start to feel the last night spent awake. No wonder his therapist had complained about him being hopelessly spacey today. “It's pretty cute. I'll take some pictures of them tomorrow after school. Facebook's gonna love this.”  
Toothless meowed and started chewing on his ear. It tickled and giggling, Hiccup scratched the cat under his chin. “Yeah, yeah, I know, nobody could ever be as cute as you.”  
“Aw, not even me?”, Astrid chimed in, feigning a pout.  
Hiccup smiled at her. “You're not a cat. Totally worlds apart. Also if it's any comfort to you, this little furball here may be the cutest, but you are most definitely the coolest.”  
“Hm...” Astrid purred, leaning closer against him. “What else?”  
Hiccup chuckled. “Adorable and fierce and radiant and lovely and...”  
“Urgh.”  
They looked up, facing a group of four leaning on the small wall that marked the beginning of the beach of Berk.  
The shortest and stockiest of them made another barfing noise. “You two are sickening!”  
“Yeah, totally!”, the girl in ashen blonde braids agreed and her equally ashen blonde twin nodded.  
The only one not displaying some mild form of disgust was Fishlegs who had a grin over his full, rosy cheeks. “I hear envy! Envy! Envy's in the air...”, he started to hum, until Snotlout slapped him on the arm.  
“Hi, guys.” Hiccup waved at them. “So I take it you wouldn't appreciate watching us make out on the beach?”  
“Urgh, no! You're disgusting enough as it is! How are you keeping this up for so long anyways?!”, Ruffnut protested, and Hiccup heard Astrid murmur: “Fishleg's right. Envy, plain and simple and beautiful envy.”  
He laughed. “Too bad, I was quite fond of the idea of make-out sessions on the beach with an audie- ow!” That was Astrid's elbow in his side.  
Well, at least Fishlegs was laughing. “So, how was your session today?”  
Hiccup had already made a face at Astrid's jab, but now it grew ever more expressive. “Awful. Boring. Hardly remember a thing, thanks to last night. And then got to hear how I have made less progress than he thought, blah, blah, blah.”  
“Well, maybe telling him you volunteer work kept you up would have silenced him”, Tuffnut suggested in one of these not exactly rare, but always highly unexpected moments of deep insight the twins were quite capable of.  
Hiccup blinked. “Oh, yeah... now that you mention it...”  
Snotlout shook his head. “Really? Ok, next time something like that rolls around, I gonna text you a reminder.”  
Once again, Hiccup could only blink. Snotlout was serious, and Hiccup knew it. The blink thus quickly gave way to a smile. “Yeah... yeah, that would be really helpful, thanks.”  
He was still getting used to it. It was nice. But it was still strange.

The summer sun burned down on them during midday, and they spent the time mostly in the shadow or in the water. Hiccup enjoyed taking off his left leg for some dives and letting the waves carry him before swimming back to the beach, where Toothless sat and waited and meowed miserably. Then the poor cat would hiss with some more misery when Hiccup dripped seawater on him.  
As much as he loved his cat, Astrid had long since concluded that he loved teasing him equally much. But then again, Astrid had witnessed many times, how Toothless would steal breakfast from Hiccups plate or hiding his toys under Hiccups bed, both very obvious attempts to piss him off. And then there was his favorite way of waking him up, by sitting on his face, almost suffocating him. This or he'd start biting his nose, and he was not deterred the slightest by missing his lower left and upper right fang. The ones he had left were sharp, and his jaws were strong.  
And in any case, Hiccup would wake up, cursing and cussing and then cuddling the little monster, all the while showering him with affectionate insults.  
Really, Astrid loved Hiccup, and she adored Toothless almost as much as her own cat, but these two seemed to thrive on riling each other up as much as on cuddling and playing and considering each other the most lovely respectively human or cat.  
They all had gotten used to the little furball riding on Hiccups shoulder wherever he went, even though Snotlout and the twins had sone so only after many, many jeers and snide remarks. Old habits and interpersonal dynamics were hard to shake, after all.  
“Oi, Hiccs! Up for a game?”, Snotlout asked, holding up a frisbee dish.”  
“Nah!” He waved, smiling. “Too tired today, sorry.” As if on command, Toothless crawled in his lap and curled up, purring happily, settling the matter for good. None of them ever moved when a cat – any cat decided they made a good resting place.  
Snotlout shrugged. “Astrid, you up?”  
“Always!” She grinned, rising to her feet and stretching. “You keep score, sweetie?”  
Hiccup blinked up at her. “You're not worried I might hand him points?”  
Astrid shrugged, still grinning. “That would be the only way for him to ever win anyways, so if you really need to – be my guest.”  
Hiccup laughed. “Ok. I might mess up the scores anyways, be warned. You should wear shorts and bikini tops more often; I quite like the combo.”  
“Idiot,” Astrid replied with far more affection and also satisfaction than the word alone could have ever implied.  
Then she was off, throwing and catching and Hiccup occasionally shouting something like a score, but when she looked, he had taken out his phone, taking pictures of Toothless. The cat finally had decided to move again and was now happily stalking and pouncing crabs. He only occasionally looked up to watch their game.  
This was another thing that had taken them a lot of getting used to, Hiccups habit of withdrawing into his own bubble when he wasn't actively involved with what was going on around him. He didn't mean to be rude and he most definitely didn't mean to project disinterest – but his attention did like to wander unless bound with full force.  
Also, a three-legged, fluffy black cat was always worth the attention, and there was hardly any need for score keeping, to begin with.  
“Whohoo! Win! Win all over!”, Astrid cheered after Snotlout missed her latest throw and panting from the exercise, sweat glistening on her brow, she sauntered back to Hiccup.  
Toothless was pawing at a crab, butt wiggling up in the air, erect tail twitching.  
Hiccup sighed and gently swept him up. “You don't need to lose any more paws, buddy,” he declared, as the cat wriggled in his arms. “Imagine how sad you'd be not to scratch me anymore to full effect.” Undisturbed by the twisting, squirming armful of Toothless, he handed Astrid a bottle of water and she took a deep sip.  
“I take you got utterly owned?”, Hiccup asked in Snotlouts direction, feigning innocence.  
“Ha! Ha, you say so!”, Snotlout blustered, “I was just nice, that's all, nice to a girl, you hear me?!”  
“Yeah, we do in fact hear you,” Astrid giggled.  
“That would mean that you're better at this whole physical exercise thing than Astrid,” Hiccup commented.  
Astrid raised an eyebrow. That tone of his voice tended to spell mischief, but with Hiccup, it was hard to tell sometimes.  
“Really, Astrid, again, just what on earth are you doing with me?”, he once again asked. “You could have any guy you wanted, someone equally athletic as you. Honestly, I worry, am I not holding you down?”  
Astrid's throat tightened a little. “No, you... Hiccup...” Then she realized the smile tucked in the corner of his mouth. “You...” She wanted to chide him, she really did, for making her think he believed this or for actually really thinking so – again, who could ever know with him and his mountain of issues?  
But instead, she leaned over, looking him deep in the eyes. Lovely color, such a vibrant green and she loved how they could darken under the right circumstances. “Yeah, I think you're right about my taste in men. Truly, truly horrible. Being both good looking and smart and cute to boot is so overrated in a man – oi, Snotlout, how about Friday for a date? Cinema?”  
There was a general noise of exaggerated gagging and barfing from the twins, amused snorting from Fishlegs and befuddled squeaking from Snotlout.  
Hiccup, taking the hint, giggled and smoothed his hand over her hair. “Love you too.”  
“Damn well hope so,” Astrid growled. The plan was that she would stay over at Hiccups. Maybe, just to needle him for this, she should just go home and sleep alone and in her own bed after all. Or maybe she would sleep over at his place, but if he was hoping for anything even as much as some cuddling he'd be in for a disappointment. Oh, she'd really enjoy his face.  
But then again, first off, she enjoyed being close to Hiccup, moving with him, being almost one with him. They both enjoyed sex and the joy it could bring them and each other. Also, it was one surefire way to reassure Hiccup when he had his bouts of self-doubt, although they had grown increasingly rarer over the last few years.  
Oh well, she could decide in the evening. For now, Snotlouts face, contorted in immature disgust at their display of affection was just too hilarious for her to ignore it any longer.  
“Another round?”, she suggested.  
“Yeah, sure! And this time, don't worry, I most certainly won't be nice.”  
He wasn't, Astrid had to admit, his throws were harder and came from increasingly sharp angles, and he made an effort to jump ever higher, to catch her throws.  
Still, he often enough missed, while Astrid caught the disk every time, amidst cheering and whooping from Fishlegs and the twins, occasionally joined in by Hiccup.  
“Aw man!”, Snotlout yelled, finally. Honestly, Astrid was impressed his frustration would break through only now. “You're cheating, admit it! Dunno how, but you do!”  
“What?!” Astrid felt her ears and cheeks grow hot and in an entirely different way than what she associated with physical exercise. “You take that back!”  
To her left, she noticed Hiccup rising to his feet, carefully, but quickly readjusting his leg before coming to her.  
Oh, great, her boyfriend felt the need to calm her down! Brilliant!  
Astrid zoned her gaze back in on Snotlout. “You did not just call me a cheater!”  
“Well...” Snotlout actually backed off a little, but then he straightened up again. “Well, I ain't saying, that you are actually that crazy good at throwing!”  
“How would one cheat at Frisbee?”, Fishlegs asked. “You do know how the physics of a disk work, right?”  
Snotlout gave him a very long, very blank stare.  
Then he threw up his hands in frustration. “Grah!” And then he threw the disk again.  
Maybe it was an honest mistake, that he threw the Frisbee just when a gut of wind came along. Maybe he was frustrated and didn't mean to throw the disk like that. Or maybe, he was frustrated and had meant to throw it just like that; it was only a cheap bit of plastic after all, and not worth much account, environmental pollution aside.  
Neither of them – not the twins, not Astrid, not Hiccup, not even ever-inquiring Fishlegs and most definitely not Snotlout – ever wondered about this later on.  
Fact remained that the Frisbee flew and flew far and over the water – and then it fell.  
“Aw – Snotlout!” Astrid turned to him, sharply, braid whipping over her shoulder. “What the hell was that about?!”  
“Well, fetch it then, if you need to, go!” Snotlout waved, seemingly dismissive, but clearly angry, “Go, sports queen!”  
Astrid wanted to scream. Or to claw at his face or rip his hair out. Typical girlish catfight tactics, she was well aware of this, but they were effective and really, really good for expressing her anger. However, they also were not very productive to solving this situation. Thus, Astrid resorted to shooting him another angry look. “Why don't you go and get it yourself, you threw it after all!”  
Snotlout squirmed. Good for him. However, he also straightened himself up in an instant. Bad for him. “Well, excuse me for not being as fit and perfect as you, I couldn't possibly make it out there! Really, you're the only who could even dream of getting it back!”  
Urgh. So Snotlout was still pissed about her actually acting as the sports team captain that she was.  
“Well, fine! I fetch the stupid thing!”, she snapped, “and just for the record, you're on the field when your performance there is one the team can rely on, got it?!” She didn't even wait for him to reply before turning around.  
“Astrid...” She felt Hiccup tugging t her hand. “Let it go, ok, just...”  
“Can't,” she grumbled, “you did hear him, yes?”  
“Yes, I did,” Hiccup sighed. “And really, it's not worth it  
“Easy for you to say, you're used-” Astrid paused as Hiccups face twisted, as she realized what she was saying. “Oh fuck... I didn't mean...”  
“You did.” Hiccup sighed, and then he smiled, and Astrid felt his fingers gently moving over her palm. “But you didn't want to be mean, I know.”  
Damn it.  
“Hiccup, really...”  
His smile turned a bit lopsided. “Go on, fetch that stupid thing already, will you?”  
Oh, damn it, she'd really have to apologize for that, and she'd better be finding a really cool way to do so, but how?  
Astrid sighed when she entered the water and – at hip level – took a dive.  
The current was stronger now than before; Berk beach was more or less a tiny, tiny, tiny inner sea, only a bit bigger than what generally constituted as your run of the mill bay and it was not too obviously affected by ebb and flow. Nonetheless, these two things were both palpable here in shifting, weaning and growing currents. It could be treacherous, even fatal for those unfamiliar with the waters here in Berk Bay area.  
Astrid knew the waters. She could trust her knowledge if the currents and she could trust her own strength. Still, she noted, it was tough.  
Lungs burning, eyes stinging from the seawater, she broke through the surface, and when she looked around, she found herself a good way off the beach, far more than she was comfortable with. However, she spotted the Frisbee, and it took her only a few strokes to get to it.  
Well, that was that. Now she just had to get back. Taking the Frisbee in one hand and paddling with only one arm was hard work, and mostly she had to rely on the energy of her legs to propel her; they were growing tired quickly now. It was probably easier if she went under and swam with the current below the surface.  
Hiccup was already on the lookout for her on the beach, and she waved, holding up the frisbee. She was ok. She was more than ok, this should signal. Hiccup could stop fretting. And she could start thinking about how to apologize. And then she had to make sure to not say such stuff again.  
She dove again, clutching the frisbee to her chest and after a moment, she dared to open her eyes to the seawater.  
Berk bay water was incredibly clean and their municipality took great pains to keep it that way. This was probably to be expected, considering that some endangered species of fish, seabirds and even a few schools of dolphins claimed the bay and the nearby area of the Atlantic their home. Berk had been declared a nature protection zone maybe three decades ago, and they were proud of it. Not to mention the tourism was the perfect antidote for the debts and desolation and abandonment that plagued so many little coastal fishing towns. Berk had fought toe and nail though for survival and found new ways and recovered, and Hiccups father loved to detail the legal, mental, emotional and occasional physical battles his uncle – another Hiccup – had fought. It was part of Berks history and one they could be reasonably proud and protective of.  
Some groups of fish flitted past her, letting the current carry them and beneath her, she could see the stony, rocky ground and some water grass; the movement of the long, greyish-green stalks was an indicator for the flow of the currents.  
It was free, and it was oh so tempting to dive in deeper, let herself be carried away and forget a way too stressful freshman year that neither she nor Hiccup or any of their gang on their own would have survived with their sanity intact, little as they had, to begin with. It had been great, sure – and being promoted captain of the school's soccer team in the first half of her freshman year would look great on her college applications – but oh, thank goodness, it was over.  
But still, she had to get back. Her legs were aching, and the water quickly was drawing the warmth from her body. Time to get back and Astrid gave herself a push, chasing past a group of fish.  
Then, there was something off, something was wrong, something had grabbed her legs – but nothing was there, she was free – except she wasn't. The pull held her and dragged her back, and she struggled and then – well. Astrid saw the ground rushing towards her, and then pain, just for a moment and then nothing else, but that might as well be just a shutdown reaction due to the pain – and with the current holding her in its clutches and her body quickly cooling out, when was the moment to claim loss of feeling?  
Astrid was whirled around and carried and her view began to blacken in the corners of her eyes, and as much as she struggled, she could not move, she could not get out, could not get to the surface where there were light and air and movement.  
Movement.  
She saw movement coming closer, Hiccups face over her, as he reached out, and then the surface rushed closer and closer and then they broke through.  
Air. Her nose and her throat were on fire, and she coughed.  
Hiccup held her, carrying her to the beach, she saw his head next to her and the bright, bright blue sky and the sea and bits of the beach as he laid her down.  
“Oh...” Hiccups face appeared over her once again. “Are you... Astrid, are you ok?”  
“Yeah. Think so.” Though still numb from the cold.  
“We've called an ambulance,” Fishlegs said from somewhere, “they should be here soon...”  
“No, no, really, I'm fine, I just...” She just needed to sit up. “Hiccup, you lend me a hand?”  
“Yeah,” she heard him gulp, “yeah, sure.”  
She waited a bit, but nothing happened.  
“Hey, what?”, she grumbled. “I'm fine really! Help me up already!”  
“Yeah, but...” Hiccups voice faltered.  
“Urgh, fine then!” Snorting, she pulled – and lifted – and then she felt it, felt, that she felt nothing. There was nothing.  
Nothing.  
Astrid's gaze flickered around, sky, bits of beach, Fishlegs and Snotlout and it again landed on the face above her. “Hiccup... I can't...”  
Where were her legs? Her arms, her hands, where were they, what was this?  
And why was Hiccup looking at her like that, why did he seem so small right now, why did he look like he was about to cry or panic and...  
“It will be ok...” What was he saying there?  
And why was he bursting into tears, when finally, finally, the ambulance arrived?

What followed were hours of a haze, Hours of being trapped in a brace, forced to keep still and wait and wait and finally someone putting a syringe in her arm. After that, everything was quite muddled, although they had taken care with the dose. Astrid would have welcomed the ability to pass out and ignore this endless dance of tests and scans and x-rays and questions. She also would have loved missing the conclusion that yes, her neck had indeed snapped, spinal cord crushed. Same went for the detail that it was the C4 vertebrae that had. As if it made any difference to her where exactly she had cracked her bones. That would be important later, if ever, but now, what was the point?  
How much she would have loved to dream through the hours of people putting her on a stretcher and slowly rolling her around, so she only ever saw the ceiling and its cold neon light and faces above her, most of the time not even looking at her. None of them were faces she actually wanted to see.  
And of course, they were not allowed to be with her, only family. Of course, none of her friends had a close blood connection to her; they did not count as family, not even her boyfriend, which was ridiculous enough that Astrid would have laughed if she hadn't been restrained by both security bindings and drugs.  
Occasionally, she was still asked the same questions over and over again – what happened, how did she break her neck, had she been moved afterwards (of course she had been or else there would now be a very pretty blonde body floating in the bay and being gnawed at by fish), but on the other hand, they utterly refused to tell her.  
“Really, dear, you should have your parents with you, someone to support you,” a nurse muttered.  
Apparently, the tranquilizer was wearing off. The gush of anger cut through Astrid with a clarity she had sorely missed for hours now. “There are people with me!”, she hissed, but it was still muddled in her ears, “I have support...”  
It took a seeming eternity until her mother finally appeared, still in her ranger uniform, harrowed, blonde braid in a mess and suddenly looking a lot older than her mid-thirties.  
It was only then that a doctor – forgettable face, awful face, too young, too inexperienced to have any idea what he was talking about – finally agreed to let Astrid know what was up.  
Broken C4 vertebrae, yes, she knew. Damaged spinal cord. Paralyzed. Potentially for good.  
He was babbling, of course. That was ridiculous.  
Nothing her mom should cry about, nothing to get upset about.  
It was just too ridiculous. It was just too much not true.

Another eternity seemed to pass before they finally, finally allowed her friends in, a good while after her mother had worried if she should stay, but had, in the end, been sent home. Staying here would accomplish nothing. And she had things to do. She'd be back tomorrow when the shock had – hopefully – worn off a bit.  
It was definitely dark outside by then, and all of them looked incredibly small and scared as they scrambled through the door and to her bed.  
Astrid wished her hand would itch wit the urge to slap them for tat, but no. She was left alone with nothing to indicate or betray her secret desires.  
Maybe, later she would come to see this as a blessing, considering her troubles with impulse control, but right now, it was just plain annoying, and annoyance didn't help at all with her violent urges.  
“Hey.” Since her head was immobilized, she just glanced at them, which hopefully was enough to fill in for the curt nod she'd usually have for them and the whole situation. “Well, gonna teach us not to underestimate the currents, right... I mean...” And with that, her voice, just so, decided to break. “Fuck...”  
“Accurate assessment,” Fishlegs offered, in a weak attempt at humor.  
Astrid appreciated it nonetheless.  
“So... how you doing?”,Snotlout asked, whole they all came closer, albeit slowly, as if they were approaching a trapped animal.  
They all had at first acted the same around Hiccup after his accident until he grumpily had demanded to be helped with his attempts at sneaking outside to be reunited with his cat.  
“Well...” Astrid tried shrugging, but that was kind of a hard exercise, given the lack of response her shoulders were demonstrating. “One doc said I likely wouldn't move again and he's an idiot. Another said they'd run some more tests with me tomorrow and that there might be a chance with surgery and with giving it time to heal. Sounded more reasonable to me, honestly. And she's also gonna plan physical therapy with me.” Her face twisted up into a smile. Great, something she had control over. Awesome. “I do quite like her.”  
Hiccup sat down at her bedside and took her hand, she saw the movement, she saw how his fingers touched her skin. This in itself was already more comfort than she usually would have cared to admit. She didn't need comfort. It would be alright.  
“I called my dad. He's coming to pick us up in a while”, he said finally. “And most importantly, he'll see to your mom getting extended and full paid leave whenever she needs it.”  
“Mom will hate him if he ever does that,” Astrid prophecized, trying not to sound too glum. “She loves the ranger work.”  
“I doubt she'll prefer work to being there for you,” Fishlegs commented, “give her some credit, will you?”  
“I do, I really am. She will take care of me, no doubt, but she'll go nuts doing so.” Again, Astrid heartily wished to shrug her shoulders. “And I mean, I gonna be here for a bit anyways. There's not much she can do right now, aside from visiting, right?”  
“Yeah, right,” Ruffnut said, slowly.  
“And during her work day I'll be too busy anyways,” Astrid continued. “There's a ton of possibilities for therapy that are waiting for me to give them a check.”  
There was a moment of silence.  
“You're less downcast than we thought,” Snotlout finally remarked. “It pisses me off,” she admitted, “I mean, I might not fully walk again at the beginning of the school year. It's likely that I'll suffer some atrophy and I'll have to rebuild that muscle mass before I can start thinking about sport again, Maybe two years. Getting a sports scholarship for college will be quite hard with that, so yeah, it's quite a bummer, true.”  
Hiccup smiled. “You always knew how to set your goalpost,” he said. His voice was most definitely not smiling.  
“I know, but eh.”  
“You know her,” Fishlegs chimed in, “Always setting her bar crazy high, missing it for two goes, cussing and then clearing it perfectly with the third go. Sometimes doing so without the missing and cussing part.”  
“Damn right.” Ah, at least one soul here understood her. “You'll see.”  
“We'll see,” Hiccup agreed, now with a smile in his voice as well. “And I mean, we all know what my grandpa always said. There is no such thing as impossible, just-”  
“Just highly improbable,” Astrid finished  
“And I mean, we're Berk Bay folk,” Snotlout continued. “Still kinda not sure if even improbable is in our vocabulary.”  
“Well, you pronounced all these words right, and you even used them in the proper context,” Hiccup drawled, “Which only goes to prove your point, good job.”

Stoick Haddock, their beloved and occasionally feared leader, mayor, and hardliner when it came to defending, protecting and preserving Berk Bays status as Nature Protection Zone came even later that evening to pick them up, way past visiting hours. But then again, Stoick had never cared for such things most of the time, and there was probably no person alive who would have been brave or foolish enough to demand this of him, and now Astrid found herself truly, totally, all-encompassingly alone.  
Until he left, Hiccup had constantly held Astrid's hand and oh, had she wished she could actually feel it. Her hands used to tingle long after he had let go of her, but not now, not today, not even this.  
A somewhat older, almost old looking nurse came and pushed the button for her bed to return to a horizontal position. “You must be so exhausted, poor dear, here, I'll lay you an intravenous infusion right away so you can sleep, no, no, doctors orders!”-ing all the way through.  
Astrid cordially wanted to strangle her, but of course, not now, oh no, that would wait until the “poor dear” had enough force in her grip again. Until then, she was to smile and nod and be obedient and focus all of her energy on getting better.  
She couldn't even look out of the window.  
Down there, the group would stop for a moment, and Hiccup would whistle. Out of the shadow, a small, fuzzy frame would quickly and weirdly gracefully hobble to them and then up Hiccups arm on his shoulder.  
Normally, she would have gone with them. She would hold Hiccups hand or have his arm around her and maybe occasionally give Toothless a scratch.  
They'd part ways with the twins on the next crossroads, and then Snotlout would head for his house and then Fishlegs.  
Normally, she'd come over to Hiccups home to stay the night, but well.  
For now, normal had to wait.

Considering how she spent the next few days, in turn waiting quickly was becoming the new normal, starting with her waiting to be transferred to the spinal injury center two towns over, but that was more of an underlying theme of this whole hospital mess.  
First, on the first morning, she had to wait for her arms to move before the realization set in.  
Then, this morning and every after she had to wait for a nurse to come and check up on her infusions and her urinary catheter. At least thanks to a feeding tube for the first few days she didn't have to wait for breakfast, lunch or dinner. But after these first days, it was taken out, and she now was transferred rather unceremoniously from the general hospital to a special facility her mom would need an hour per car to reach and her friends two hours per bus.  
And thus her morning routine now also included waiting for company and for the indignation of being fed by spoon to pass.  
After this, she had to wait for some clothes to be put on her and then, on the first day in the center, it basically was an endless cycle of more tests and more scans and people touching her and her wanting to swat them away without being able to do so and the waiting for some results and waiting for them to be in any way different than what Astrid had been told before. God dammit, she knew her neck was broken, it wasn't like that damn brace was for decoration!  
“It might heal,” one doctor said, “and then we can work on you regaining control over your movements. Until then, the focus will be on countering decrease in muscle mass. What do you say, you can do that?”  
It was always the same.  
And always she'd grin and reply: “There's a good deal more I can do!”  
This seemed to be the one thing all the doctors wanted to hear, something positive and affirming, so she answered with optimism, maybe sometimes a bit more cheery than she actually felt at the moment.  
Then, once again, it was waiting for something to occupy herself with.  
Mostly, this was physical therapy, someone – what was her name again? Well, Astrid couldn't be expected to remember it, when even the face evaded her – dropping by and moving her arms and legs and bending her upper body in an imitation of physical exercise and trying to make some conversation, but what was she to talk about to that woman? She had asked what Astrid liked to do in her free time and after Astrid's answer – “Sports.” – the conversation had died rather quickly and would not be revived again.  
Most of the time, she waited for someone who wasn't staff, doctor, caretaker, whatever, someone not associated with the place, to come and see her.  
Hiccup dropped by at the visiting hours for the first few days. Unlike his father he was not overly imposing neither in physique nor personality, so most of the time he preferred to adhere to rules, such as visiting times since it avoided trouble.  
Then again, Always had always found that he was quite rebellious when he felt like it and if he had inherited anything from Stoick Haddock, then it was his stubbornness. As long as Astrid could remember, he had always obeyed rules and regulations only as long as he could see rhyme or reason to them. This was one of the reasons he had been so alone at school for so long, his general quirkiness and awkwardness with people aside – he was too unruly for the regular folk and too rule-abiding for the local rebels without a cause and in general too unpredictable to safely be friends with.  
In short, it was maybe a week of Hiccup obediently showing up at two pm and leaving at six pm, before he just waltzed in at 8 am, accompanied her to her first assignment, then to her second and then ate lunch with her, feeding her first, while taking bites of his own lunch in-between. Strangely enough, being spoon fed felt way less demeaning and infuriating to her like this, maybe because Hiccup didn't make that much of a fuss over her eating and he also was eating himself, instead of solely taking care of her.  
It got her to be more compliant and to eat more, which her doctor was asking of er anyways. So, this and Hiccup being unobtrusive and in fact, a bit of a mellowing factor on Astrid's attitude, sealed the deal. Plus, he was charming the nurses. It was always fascinating how the most awkward ducks could turn into such wizards of human interactions if they wanted something.  
“I think, you could drop by in the middle of the night, and they would let you in and ask you if you wanted any refreshments,” she joked one day.  
Hiccup laughed and ran a hand through her hair. It had grown quite a bit, enough for her to consider a trim, but Hiccup had always liked playing with it, and she enjoyed the contact, so... maybe later. Later, when she'd seen how she'd play sports with a longer braid than before. Then, depending on that, she still could consider shortening it again.  
“They know what's good for them,” he remarked. “Not letting me in would probably piss you off and seriously, who would risk that?”  
He was completely serious. Astrid had always adored that about him.  
“How are the others doing?”  
“Tuffnut keeps the team sharp, invoking your spirit and occasionally channeling what he calls his Astrid persona. Guess, he's getting serious about considering drama school, it's scary good. Fishlegs works his summer jobs, Snotlout is busy with summer school, and Ruffnut's the same, but at least she found a new crush to scare the living daylights out of and...” He sighed. “We miss you. All of us and they all send their love and...” Again, he sighed. “We really miss you.”  
“I know.” She nodded. “Goes to show I need to get better soon if only to reign in the twins.”  
That was one day before the surgery.

She went under hoping this might do something, and she woke up Hiccup by her side and thanks to the anesthetics she didn't ask how he had managed to get into the wake-up room. She wouldn't talk the whole day, and so, he read to her.

On weekends the whole gang gathered round her bed, cheering her on, bringing her up to date and making plans what to do after she got released.  
Her mom showed up on Thursdays and Fridays, so she could work the weekends and earn some bonus. Thankfully, she had calmed down quite a bit, and usually, her visits meant that she brought Astrid flowers from their garden, sweets, pictures of Stormfly in ever new teeny-tiny hand-knitted cat sweaters, audio books and news from her work and the neighborhood.  
And at the very least she never ever made excuses for not showing up more often. They needed the money she made. It was quite a nice bit of money, and with the weekend bonus was probably going to be an even nicer bit of money, Considering her current circumstances, Astrid concluded, that in the foreseeable future there would be quite a bit more money spent on her. Plus, as she already had stated, her mother would be utterly miserable without the work and their house wasn't big enough for that much grumpiness.  
In a Wednesday a nurse showed Hiccup how to lift Astrid up and put her in her wheelchair, and he rolled her through the corridors to an elevator and then outside to the garden.  
Astrid's heart made a leap. Small as it was, it was green, it was fresh air, it was outside, it was sun on her skin again, after days and days and days of cold, antiseptic dead air. She breathed in deeply, enjoying how the fresh green of the grass and the fragrant flowers interplayed with some herbs from an adjunct pseudo-medical garden and the sweet water from a little pool.  
There was a rustle and then from under one of the rose bushes Toothless dashed out and quickly jumped into Astrid's lap.  
“Hey there.” She smiled as the cat blinked up at her, then giggled when he climbed on her arm and sat on her shoulder, rubbing his little face against her cheek in greeting.  
“Hey, smartie-pelt...”  
“Yeah, it's amazing how well you can teach a cat when you apply treats and do so liberally.”  
Toothless bumped his head under her chin.  
“Oh, so you bribed him?”, she asked, still giggling and gladly receiving the little kisses Toothless peppered on her cheek and temples.  
“Kind of,” Hiccup admitted, “he responds well to it.”  
Astrid let the cat cuddle up on her shoulder for a bit before she nudged him with her head. Obediently, the cat left her and traipsed back to Hiccup. “How are things at the shelter?”, she then asked.  
Hiccups ears turned bright red. “Uh... well... good. I think.”  
“You wanted to take pics of the puppies,” Astrid continued. “What about that?” And when Hiccup didn't answer to that: “When have you been there the last time?”  
“Last week,” Hiccup admitted, after a moment of silence. He looked down on his hands. “And... well, I was basically only there to tell them that I wouldn't come for a while.”  
Astrid blinked. “But...” That wasn't right. Hiccup loved working with animals. He had been volunteering at the shelter even since before they had become friends and Astrid suspected that a lot of the time Hiccup still preferred the company of animals to that of humans.  
“It's all right. It's just for now”, he mumbled.  
“No, it's not, Astrid refuted, “it's not and don't you try to tell me otherwise, don't you dare!”  
Hiccup sighed, and his fingers dug into Toothless fur, moved over his body, started betting him, then scratching, just to abandon each activity after just a few seconds. Finally, Toothless had enough and swatted at Hiccups hand, mewling in protest.  
“Sorry, buddy.” Hiccup sighed once more, but his hands steadied now over Toothless' little body. “Well... no, it's not ok, I mean, it is, but I'm not totally... urgh.”  
“You didn't want to quit,” Astrid said.  
“No.”  
“But you did.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Why?”  
Hiccup shrugged. “Remember when you were saving up a shit ton of money, because you wanted new soccer shoes? What exactly happened?”  
Astrid's mouth quirked up. “Stormfly. I got a half dead Sphinx, had to pay the vet bills for her and then I had to buy wool and a knitting guide.”  
“Why?”, Hiccup asked, smiling as if he already knew the answer.  
Urgh, at times he could be so annoying. “Because, dude, my cat was a bit more important and...” She paused. Ah. Of course.  
“Right now you are more important – no, scratch that, you are always important. And the shelter is also important, and I will miss it, but...” He shrugged. “Priorities. If that makes sense.”  
“It does.” Astrid sighed and nodded when he reached out to play with her hair. “You're still an idiot, you know.”  
She smiled, a lot brighter now and kissed her on the cheek. “Yeah, I know. And maybe I should change up Toothless' diet. Tuna and salmon are really not your perfume.”

As it turned out, the surgery had been for nothing.  
Astrid's neck brace came off, and for two days more tests and scans and x-rays were taken.  
To the doctor's credit she, she was awfully kind about it. Which only made it worse.  
“You're healing up well enough, as much as you can,” she said, Astrid in front of her.  
Left and right sat her mom and Hiccup, each holding one of her hands so that she could see it.  
“But, well, sadly...”, She sighed. “I think you might already suspect so yourself. It is highly unlikely that you will regain of your body again.”  
Right to her, Astrid heard her mother strangle a sob, and when she looked down on her left hand, Hiccup held it so tightly that his knuckles stood out white.  
Maybe, if he presses on further my hand dies off, she mused, now that would be funny, me watching a limb dying and then falling off, just like that. The thought bubbled up in her, enough to make her giggle, high and shrill, even in her own ears.  
Hiccup came a bit closer to her.  
“I'm fine... really, I'm fine...”, she mumbled, and it died down, the giggling at least, the bubbling inside her remained.  
The doctor gave her a rather funny look, quite a lot of pity. Astrid didn't like that one bit. “We will, of course, continue with physical therapy. Additionally, I do recommend counseling. This will be a hard time for you and you will need all the help available.”  
Well, just being awfully nice about it, didn't mean the doctor was good at being tactful. Ha, help, all she could get, ha. Astrid tried – and failed – to suppress another giggle.  
Her mother looked at her strangely.  
“Finally, you'll have to learn how to adjust to life and...” The doctor now finally faltered and sighed. “Well, it's a lot to take in. Maybe you want to rest for now?”  
“Yeah, rest,” Astrid mumbled, “good idea, I hardly feel my bones from exhaustion.”  
“And your mother and I should discuss future treatment options for you as well.”  
“I can take you to the garden,” Hiccup offered quickly.  
“Yeah, yeah,” Astrid mumbled, and he got up and behind her wheelchair and rolled her out.  
“Not the park,” she mumbled after the door had closed. “My room, ok?”  
“Sure.” True enough, her room was where he brought he and then he stood there and looked at her, hands already fluttering about helplessly. “He... I mean...”  
“I'm fine,” Astrid mumbled, “Just... I think I need some time...”  
“Oh.” Hiccups face first relaxed and then fell. “Yes, of course. Til tomorrow then?”  
“Yeah.”  
He knelt down before her, carefully running a hand trough her hair, and he looked very much like he wanted to say something, but the words would not come.  
Finally, he settled for mumbling: “You call when you need anything, right? Or... tell any of the staff here, right?”  
“Ok.”  
“And I'll be back tomorrow. Same time. If you like...”  
“Yes. Thank you.” And she meant it she really did mean it, but...  
“So, tomorrow then.” He leaned over to kiss her cheek, but she turned her face away.  
Hiccup backed off and nodded. “I'll check up with your mom.”  
“Thank you.”  
And then, at last, she was alone. And after a moment, when she was sure Hiccup would not come back, she finally dared to cry.

At the very least, they knew how to keep her busy.  
For now, physical therapy continued, but it was reduced to one hour per day and the hours that had been formerly occupied with this now were filled with therapy sessions. Because Astrid so direly needed therapy. And had so insisted in both counseling and group therapy, that was set each twice a week.  
The first few sessions were a disaster, mainly because, well, what was she supposed to say? The therapist clearly knew her patient file and still she asked those stupid questions, what she liked to do and how it had happened. It, this stupid it.  
“How did it happen?”, the counselor had asked, kindly smiling over her glasses.  
“Well, take a guess. Broke my neck”, Astrid had grumbled and more or less refused to answer any more questions.  
Group sessions were marginally better. At least, some of the kids here were busy, not drowning in self-pity.  
“So, how did you join our quaint little club?”, a very pretty girl with a dark, glossy braid over her right shoulder had asked in her first session, flashing Astrid a sheepish grin.  
“Took a swim. Wasn't exactly my brightest idea."  
The girl – Heather – had chuckled and it had felt so good, not being pitied. Still, Astrid didn't feel much compel to talk. Listening, however, was very enlightening. Some of the kids – like Heather – were at this whole paralyzed and wheelchair bound thing for quite some time already and had apparently adjusted rather well. Others were still struggling and one or two still firmly stuck in denial, believing they one day would walk again. Not Astrid, oh no, she was well over that. She also was well over the “still crying when talking about it” stage. So really, no reason for her to talk about the accident at all, nor about the fact that her body had basically ceased existing or that her future suddenly had become a wee bit foggy. She was aware of that, she was facing all the facts, so really, no need for her to be here. But – unlike counseling – these group sessions offered her a glimpse of what she might expect in her future and potential strategies to cope with this.  
And Hiccup seemed content enough to pick her up after each session.  
“Where's the next appointment?”, he asked today, rolling her down the hallways.  
“House eighteen, room one-fifteen,” Astrid answered. I was kind of frightening how well she had her schedule memorized, considering how much trouble she had always had navigating school hours without her notes. Then again, maybe she was one of those genuinely, simply scatterbrained cases where this was indeed owed to her overly relying on notes instead of some genuine problems regarding her neurological facilities. After all, she never had had trouble remembering the schedules for practice, training camps and matches. All this had fallen off her now and to be honest, not having notes did help with her remembering this stuff.  
When outside they instantly were joined by Toothless, who purred, strolling between Hiccups legs before he jumped into Astrid's lap, hitchhiking until they reached house eighteen.  
“Ok, buddy, time to wait again.” Hiccup gently picked him up and patiently endured a row of teeny tiny cat kisses being peppered on his nose. “Yeah... yeah, love you too... now off you go. Catch a mouse or something.” With that, he put Toothless back on the ground and the cat dashed off to the next bushes.  
“Last night, he suddenly got the opinion I don't eat enough,” he remarked. “All of a sudden came up with a dead sparrow, trying to shove it into my mouth.”  
Astrid snorted. “What?”  
“Yepp. When I refused, he pouted and then he took the thing and tried it with Dad.”  
“And you all are alive?”, Astrid asked. That was amazing. Although now she's never get rid of the mental image of Mayor Stoick Haddock with a cat on his chest, shoving a dead sparrow into his mouth.  
“Yeah, Dad sputtered quite a bit, but in the end, he acted as if he ate it and then fed it to the dog. Toothless never knew.”  
Astrid was still giggling when Hiccup rolled her into a small gym, where yet another rather looming therapist awaited them – although he looked more like a pirate or a highway robber than anything else.  
“Afternoon, lass!”, he greeted.  
Astrid and Hiccup exchanged a look.  
“He sounds like coach Gobber,” Astrid mumbled.  
“And looks like my dad dipped in ink,” Hiccup added.  
“A missing link, I'm sure,” she continued, “we need to tell Fishlegs, I bet he can come up with an explanation.”  
The guy cleared his throat, obviously impatient for them to get over it. “You ready to get your license?” He patted the headrest of a quite massive, gray wheelchair, one of those motorized things with thick, faux-leather cushioning.  
Astrid eyed it warily. “Doesn't look too trustworthy,” she commented.  
“It's trustworthy enough for most people who need it,” the man retorted. “Alvin by the way. And you're Astrid, right?”  
She nodded. “Yes. And this thing still doesn't look trustworthy. It looks like a single seat car.”  
Alvin laughed and with this he sounded well and truly like the lovechild of Stoick Haddock and Coach Gobber.  
“Well, lad, you mind helping her switch?”, he boomed.  
Next to her Hiccup seemed positively electrified and then turned to her with something almost like hesitation. “You mind?”  
“Not much of a choice, right?”, she asked, when Hiccup lifted her up and carefully, her head leaned against his own, he carried her over and then carefully placed her into the chair.  
Apparently the cushioning was quite good. She felt a soft, but very tight resistance on her scalp.  
“Ok, lass, you gonna learn how to use this thing now,” Alvin explained while locking something like a desk in front of her. Astrid couldn't help but feel like a toddler in a high stool and once again, the feeling was anything but nice.  
“So?”  
Alvin placed something like a long, metal straw in front of her. “You'll control this thing with your breath – no, no, I'm entirely serious her, girl and trust me, it's easier than you think and harder than you might expect. And... you, lad, you wanna watch?”  
Hiccup shrugged. “Only if nobody minds.”  
“You want him in here?”, Alvin thus asked Astrid.  
She shrugged as well. “I laughed well and long when he started to learn walking on that leg of his, so it's high time he gets some payback.  
Alvin looked between them, then he joined the general shrugging, a grin on his face. “I like you girl. Ok, let's get started.”  
In fact, Hiccup had a lot to laugh about, more than he actually did laugh about.  
The wheelchair was easy to use in theory – blowing – or puffing, as Alvin called it – into the straw moved it forward, a sip backward, while a hard sip also stopped the whole thing, while long, soft puffs and sips would steer the chair left and right.  
In theory, this was easy enough, and Astrid had no trouble remembering that.  
Making it work in practice, however, was... interesting and she could hear Hiccups giggle fill the gym quite often.  
“It's always hard in the beginning,” Alvin cheered her on. “You're doing ok. A bit practice and you'll chase your boyfriend round and round and round.”  
“That's gonna be my wheelchair then?”, Astrid asked.  
“The chair is replaceable. Important is the device here, but yeah, it has to be connected to the thing, and that's pretty annoying, so consider the whole thing one, if you like. The device needs to be programmed individually, so right now you're learning to use it, while the thing learns your commands. By the by, that also means, that the SNP won't recognize anyone else's breathing patterns. No switcheroos when you break it.”  
Not that Astrid planned any switcheroos or to break the thing, but she stored the information away nonetheless.  
And once she got the hang of it, oh, the joy of moving about on her own accord, on her own power, oh, it was amazing and Astrid's face hurt from smiling and grinning for a few days. It was great and maybe, just maybe, she had considered taking up Heather's challenge for a race down the corridors. Just for a moment,  
Other things were a little harder to master and Astrid had never been so grateful for smartphones and touchscreens as she was now. Easy-to-use surfaces. Great. Hiccup had many a chance to giggle at her working a mouthstick on a phone or a tablet or a book.  
“Well, you try it,” she grumbled as he helped her taking the blasted thing back into her mouth.  
“Looks quite exhausting,” Hiccup admitted. “I think I'll pass. Watching you is more fun anyways.”  
And watching he did. And laughing. And cheering and howling when she made progress.  
And hen she finally, finally got her release slip from the center, when she finally was once again deemed fit enough to face life, he was the one – along with her mom and her friends of course – to pick her up and bring her home.

Being home was not even remotely what Astrid had it imagined to be like. But then again, she had fervently avoided spending any thought on this aspect of her future.  
So, it was very much a cold shower for her.  
Astrid had never noticed how many little steps there were in her home and how little space between the furnishings of the rooms and in the bathroom.  
And of course, her bedroom was upstairs. In Astrid's mind, it could have been on the Mount Everest.  
Her Mother woke her up every morning, helped her in the bathroom – oh the indignity, Astrid doubted she would ever get used to it – and washed her and combed and braided her hair, before dressing her and taking her down. Then they had breakfast before Juliet Hofferson would usually have to leave, having set up her daughter with audiobooks or a tablet or whatever else Astrid could do to while away the time until Hiccup would drop by.  
Actually, she had hoped that the time in the center would have helped her getting used to it.  
But it was terrible. It was summer, vacation was still going on, drawing to a close in a bit.  
She would go out, cycling or running and attending and overseeing practice and go on dates with Hiccup – all the thing she had done and had planned on doing so before her accident.  
Well, considering the many steps and stairways in her house her access to the sun was right now limited to the porch overseeing their garden.  
Worst of all, she couldn't even play with Stormfly.  
Her cat had been overjoyed when Astrid had come home, running down the stairs with a noise level nobody would have ever expected of such a delicate creature like her.  
At least, she wasn't bothered by the wheelchair, happily sitting on Astrid's lap when she rolled around the house and cuddling up with her in the hopes of scratches and cuddles.  
Only, that she never got any, which left the poor thing rather confused and dejected, vocalizing her lack of understanding in loud, mournful meows.  
Hiccup taught her to climb on Astrid's shoulder and rub against her cheek, but that only helped in part. Stormfly still didn't understand why Astrid wouldn't use her hands anymore to pet her.  
Astrid hated not holding her and as sweet and nifty the sweaters were that her mother knitted for the Sphinx cat, Astrid had always enjoyed doing this herself and dressing her cat into these sweaters to keep her from getting cold.  
She wanted to do this again.  
And there she sat, always sat, her cat rubbing against her cheek in hopes for something like affection and Astrid gave as much as she could.  
But it was so little and she could do nothing to change that.

Hiccup had come to the spinal center every day and it was kind of a given that, after her release, he would come to see her every day as well.  
Astrid probably didn't take it for granted that he was here. Probably. Maybe she did, just a little.  
But Hiccup seemed happy enough to be with her, to teach Stormfly new tricks and commands and yes, Astrid wanted him around.  
She really, really, really did want him around.  
But when Hiccup was around her, he took care of her. He took her to the bathroom. He fed her. He knew better than to turn pages in a book she read or anything like that.  
But also she had to ask him if he could scratch her nose or her scalp.  
And Hiccup did it.  
And while he did so, he talked about school and about classes and about a teacher who would not be there next school year, due to maternity leave and about an advanced class he might take, since his grades in the natural science department had gone up now.  
“What do you plan for the school year?”, Astrid asked. “The zoology class aside, I mean.”  
Hiccup, next to her on the porch in the afternoon sun, took a sip of his lemonade and then, finally, he shrugged. “Trying once again to get my grades to an acceptable level all over the board. At least good enough for me to send out a not-too-bad early application for college.” He sighed. “Well, in short, I got my work cut out for me.”  
Astrid nodded. “Yeah, but it's work you can do. We both know you are way smarter than your grades.”  
Hiccups brow furrowed. “Yeah, doesn't change the fact that school is boring.”  
“It isn't when you pay attention,” Astrid insisted.  
“I had to be interested in that boring stuff to pay attention.”  
“Try paying attention and you'll find stuff in it that is interesting.”  
Hiccup sighed. “IF you say so...”  
“At least, try it for the college application,” Astrid pressed on.  
“It's not like I'm not trying.”  
Toothless and Stormfly came around, purring and both jumping into Astrid's lap.  
She wanted to pick up her cat and hold her and cuddle her.  
She wanted to get up and get them some snacks or she wanted to whack Hiccup for being so daft or something or she wanted to dress into something nice and go out and just live again and just...  
Hiccup looked at her then reached out to run his through her hair.  
Astrid leaned into the touch. She missed him. She missed feeling him, she missed being touched, she missed him, she missed it so much,  
Still, as it had become usual for her, has he leaned in what was a question and an offer for a kiss, Astrid turned away.  
Hiccup didn't persist, but just leaned his brow against her temple.  
Astrid could feel his breath rushing down her cheek, and the side of her neck and she leaned into the feeling.  
She saw Hiccups arm around her shoulder, but she could not feel it.  
Damn it.

He had planned on staying over and spending the night. He had done so countless times before, usually on evenings Astrid's mother had to do night shifts. It had always been nice to have the house all to themselves.  
As usual, they had eaten dinner and watched a movie – or rather the cats reacting to the movements on the TV screen, good entertainment in any case – and some time later they would go to bed. Often enough, they had had sex. But that had been what Astrid very occasionally and only in really dark moods referred to as The Before.  
Now, Hiccup would simply lie next to her, arms around her; she, however, could not turn to embrace or touch him.  
And considering how her body had changed, how paper pale her skin had become, where before even in winter it had possessed a somewhat creamy, rosy quality, with some golden tan thrown in during summer. And her arms and legs and her entire form, straight, thin lines, now that all her muscle mass had atrophied. That wasn't her anymore.  
Hiccup, however, Hiccup had apparently gotten one last – or maybe not so last – growth spurt and additionally he was getting a bit broader in the shoulders and gaining a bit more mass, filling out his frame.  
Hiccup had never been much into sports, but he loved being outside, being active, being in motion and it showed.  
“Doesn't it bother you,” she finally dared to ask, Hiccup n her back, his arms around her, facing the wall.  
“What?” His breath whispered behind her ear and down her neck.  
“Me. All this.” A gesture for emphasis would have been a nice touch, but alas.  
“What?”, Hiccup repeated, this time slower and with more suspicion to his voice.  
“Do you think we'll ever have sex again?”  
Astrid heard him swallow hard and in discomfort. “Well...”, he mumbled, “it's...”  
“You do miss it?”  
Hiccup was silent to it, and Astrid took it for the answer that it was.  
“Me too,” she admitted, “But it's not like I feel anything anyways, so...”  
Iz hung between them for a few seconds and finally, finally Hiccup said: “No. But that's not the same, and it's not ok.”  
“Well, big surprise here, it's not like I'm the same either! Or ok!”  
“Astrid...”  
“I can't do anything, I need to you or mom or just anyone to do even the most basic shit for me, I... I'm a head with some baggage!”  
Her view shifted a little and the fabric rustled as Hiccup pulled her closer.  
“Don't you have other stuff you want to do?”, she mumbled, “I know, you miss the shelter and...”  
“Astrid,” Hiccup finally sighed, “Whatever you have to say, just say it.”  
She didn't really want to say to say this. But she didn't want to be a liar either. “Well... I think... maybe you need a girlfriend that is more fitting for you.”  
For a moment, there was utter silence.  
Astrid wasn't even sure what she was expecting for an answer. But Hiccup being silent most certainly didn't qualify.  
“So?”, she finally ventured.  
Hiccup answered with a short, humorless, breathy laugh and then he asked: “You really think so?” His voice scratched, like a stone on metal. That was never good.  
“Hiccup...”  
There was again the rustle of fabric and even though she could not feel it, Astrid knew she was alone I the bed and under the thin blanket.  
“Hiccup...”  
Somewhere in the dark room, she heard the sounds of rummaging.  
“I set the voice reception, so...” He faltered. “In an emergency, just... well you know how this thing works.”  
“Hiccup...”  
“If you really think so, I should go.”  
And then, Astrid was alone.  
Well, she mused in that weirdly distant, amused state in which she occasionally had looked at her situation shortly after the accident, at least now she had an answer what the worst and potentially most likely answer to this question was.  
It was even one of the reactions she had somewhat anticipated – it just was, that she hadn't expected for this to really happen.  
Well, apparently, she had taken him for granted.

Stoick Haddock was very, very much someone who hated things not being as he anticipated them being; order and structure were necessary parts of his life, even though he gladly and willingly put aside such notions when circumstances demanded it with enough severity.  
When he knew his son to stay over at his girlfriend's place for the night, he did very much not expect to come down at six in the morning to find said son sitting at the kitchen table, drinking what was definitely not his first mug of coffee and doing so without much enjoyment, his cat next to him on the table (where he wasn't allowed), purring into his ear.  
“Morning,” Stoick rumbled, trying very hard, not so show his surprise and his annoyance at having his silent morning – the only silent hours of the day, most of the time – disrupted like this.  
“Coffee's ready,” Hiccup mumbled, sounding apologetic.  
So, Stoick concluded, something was not alright with his kid.  
“Weren't you supposed to have breakfast at Astrid's place? A few hours from now?”  
Hiccup shrugged. “Change of plans.  
Stoick's day usually started very early. It was six now. At seven he had to be at City Hall in his office, dealing with everyday paperwork, talking to people, going places, seeing where there was a need for money, effort or time or all of these applied.  
This usually involved long talks on the phone about the Nature Protection work and how in turn this meant turning down several new investment ideas.  
It was a hard job and sometimes, Stoick dearly wished he was only the head of the local wildlife foundation office again. But the work was fruitful and rewarding, and he had gladly dedicated his life and time to it, at least for as long as the people wanted him to.  
In short, work was calling, and he dearly longed to follow.  
Also, his son sat at their kitchen table and was utterly miserable.  
Stoick sighed, poured himself a mug of coffee and took a sip. Tasted like it was made at least two hours ago.  
No, his son was most definitely not alright.  
“How about you tell me what's wrong?”  
His son was 16, soon to be 17 and for the most part, long had outgrown the age where he needed fatherly advice. For a long time he had learned to get by without it, Stoick realized with a pang of remorse.  
Nonetheless, right now his son clearly needed him, and it wasn't even a question that he was right now a bit more important.  
Hiccup shrugged. “Dunno.”  
Oh. That bad.  
Stoick sat down at the table. “Astrid, eh?”  
“Hm.”  
“Hit her pretty hard. Poor lass.”  
“I think if you ever call her that to her face she'll gladly run you over.” Hiccup now gently shooed Toothless off, and the cat made himself comfortable on the heater.  
Ah, yes, there was his son again. That was better. “Doesn't change the fact that it is true. So? What is it?”  
Hiccup didn't answer, although his furrowed brow suggested that this was probably not out of stubbornness, but more due to a loss for words.  
Stoick sighed. “How are you holding up?”  
“I'm ok,” Hiccup replied, slowly, “I really am, but... have you seen Astrid these days?”  
“I did. Didn't strike me as exactly happy.”  
“Yepp.” Hiccup nodded. “She was more at ease while in the center.”  
Stoick heroically braved another sip of coffee. “Well, the center is made to accommodate folks in wheelchairs. Astrid was ok there, so let's ask why she's not ok in her home when there are people always in reach to help her?”  
Again, Hiccup shrugged. “Don't think that's what she wants. I mean, asking for help. She does it when necessary, but she hates it.”  
“Well, she never needed help before, right?”  
Hiccup groaned.  
Stoick glanced at hit watch and sent out a silent apology to his secretary and his assistant who would have to deal without him this morning. Thank goodness his staff were competent enough for his office to survive a day or two without him, let alone an hour or two.  
“Y'know, I'm pretty glad you took your injury so well,” he commented. “I mean, we already were on the rocks. Dunno if I could have dealt with you all depressed and stuff.”  
“Dad,” Hiccup said, very slowly, “that's a horrible thing to say.”  
“Doesn't make it less true. I was already at a loss what to do with you. Glad we worked it out, but... yeah, dunno how...”  
“Also, I would have been depressed, if Toothless had died.” Hiccup glanced at his cat who by now was sleeping peacefully on the heater, all three legs stretched, happily purring.  
“You still had trouble adjusting. And I had trouble adjusting to you using foul language.”  
Hiccup snorted.  
“What was the worst for you, these few weeks?”  
At the question, Hiccup sucked in his cheeks, biting on them. One day, Stoick thought, he would bite himself bloody and require stitches. And if this was what it took to cure that godawful habit, Stoick was very willing to pay the hospital bill.  
“It was... kinda different. I mean, I thought life would just go on like before, but... well, didn't quite happen.”  
“Ah.” Stoick nodded.  
“Guess, it's...” Hiccup sighed. “Yeah. Guess none of us thought of what it would mean for her to be in a regular environment again.”  
“I can only imagine it being kinda sucky.” Another sip of coffee. Stoick was a real hero. “Not being all the things you were used to doing before. I bet it makes one quite pissy.”  
“I know... I just... I thought it would help her to know that she's not alone in this.” Hiccup ran a hand through his hair.  
His son was a good kid, and someone Stoick was fiercely proud of.  
However, occasionally he was reminded, that his son in the end still was a teenager. Very smart, very perceptive, but still learning, still developing and thus, occasionally a bit daft. “She is. You can't give her back her mobility.” The mug was empty, and Stoick poured himself another one. Pity that it wasn't fresh anymore, Hiccup could make a decent brew. “And you can't take away from her, that she has to deal with that.”  
“I know, but...”  
“You can't fix her, Hiccup. You can't fix people. People are not machines. Only thing you can do is accompany them while they work out how stuff works.”  
“Like I got company while I worked it out?” He smiled now, and while it wasn't exactly a happy expression, it was a genuine smile. A tad wistful maybe, but in Stock's book, that was fine as well.  
“Yep.”  
“They still got me over some sh-”  
“Language.”  
“... s... stuff.” Hiccup sighed. “Stuff.”  
“Yeah, lent you a hand or kicked some trash outta your skull.” Stoick shrugged. “Thing is, you decided to let them help you. You still could have decided to ignore what they told you. Wouldn't even blame you. And you could have decided to ignore what they had to say when you were being an idiot. Would blame you even less.”  
“So, basically you're saying I should stick around and wait for Astrid to... for lack of a better word – move on?”  
“Kinda,” Stoick admitted and then, in a flash of genius he would always be proud of, he added: “Phrasing sucks. Please never, ever, ever consider a political career. You'd suck.”  
“Thanks,” Hiccup sighed. “I know.”  
“So...” Stoick sighed. Next point. He was running late anyways for talking his kid though his problems, so why not do a proper job of it? “Question is, though, do you want to stick around and be there for her?”  
Hiccup, who now had been staring into his mug, blinked up at him. “What?”  
“Do you want to be there for her or do you think you have to be?”  
Hiccups brow furrowed. He didn't lift his chin, so his stare came off like one to do Kubrick proud. Stoick reminded himself not to shrink away from his son.  
“Ok, Dad, what the fuck is with that question?! Sorry, not sorry for the language and again, what the actual fuck?!”  
Ha. Stoick had always known it; his son would make a great politician. Stoick felt his mouth quirk up into a smile and dearly hoped it showed through his beard. “Well, I'll take that as an answer, ok?”  
Hiccup wasn't used to short discussions with his father, especially when he won them so easily that they barely qualified as such. Not that they before had had many discussions. More fights of the flavor of Stoick insisting on one thing, Hiccup hating it, Stoick continuing in his insistence and Hiccup seemingly giving in and going along, only to go behind his father's back. It had been like that with his extracurricular activities, and it most certainly had been like that with that ridiculously adorable cat of his.  
The other variant – one that had been quite frequent for maybe half a year, right after they had started talking – consisted of long and loud shouting matches, that in the end had resulted in nothing but sore throats, exhausted lungs and once or twice a breakdown on Hiccups side.  
It had taken them a while to learn how to actually talk to each other, and it was still quite awkward for them to do so. Calling a short exchange a discussion, a discussion a fight – that was all right, that was known territory, they were familiar with fights.  
It was still progress, and Stoick cherished it as such.  
“So?”, he asked. “What you gonna do?”  
Hiccup sighed. “Maybe give her some space for now. A day or maybe two, so she can sort stuff out for herself. If she wants me around after all that and what to do next...”  
“Then?”  
Hiccup shrugged. “Talk?”  
Yes, very, very, very good. Stoick could easily nod to this. “Good.”  
“Huh? That's it?” Hiccup looked almost disappointed.  
“You want me to say something else?” Well, Stoick would gladly deliver, if it was something he could say with a clear conscience.  
“Not really.” Hiccup shrugged once again, and Stoick recognized one of his motoric ticks in this.  
“Well then, why should I? Got nothing to add here.”  
Hiccup nodded, slowly. Well, this was still new for both of them, Stoick concluded. Hopefully, they would have learned how to do this before Hiccup left for college.  
“Well...” For the first time in a while, he glanced at his watch. “Sorry, but work calls.”  
“Yeah. Have a great day, Dad.”  
He smiled and then reached out to ruffle his son's hair. “Yeah, you too. As long, as you don't break anything.”  
“Dad, really, when did I ever...”  
“Don't get me started, ok?” Stoick sighed, then repeated the hair ruffling. “Bye, son!”  
And off he went, off to another day of running the town and helping it be and stay the great place that it was.  
Good feeling that one of the souls under his jurisdiction was taken care of for today. That left only roughly 9.000 more.  
Yes, Stoick loved his job.

Astrid was wrong.  
She had taken Hiccup and his company for granted when he had been there for her.  
Her mother had carefully knocked in the morning, obviously very surprised to find her daughters room devoid of the guy she by now was starting to consider as her future son-in-law (much to Astrid's chagrin.)  
Thus she had washed her, dressed her, combed her hair, all the while trying to ask some subtle questions, which, unfortunately – or fortunately, as Astrid found – were anything but subtle. Astrid evaded by simply not answering.  
It continued during breakfast, so Astrid kept up her silence.  
“Maybe I should call in sick today,” her mother sighed. “You don't look too well.”  
“No,” Astrid declared, sounding far angrier than she had actually wanted to. Still, her mother was to blame with her questions and her digging and nagging. “I am fine, really. Don't think you should stay home for this.”  
“But...”  
“Mom, really.” She sighed. “I am fine. Fine-ish”, she admitted.  
“I really could take a day off,” Juliet tried to argue. “We could go about town, what do you think?”  
“Gladly,” Astrid agreed. “But you've got a day off tomorrow anyway”, she continued.  
“But really, switching shifts would be so easy...”  
“Mom!” If only she could still slam down her favorite mug in anger.  
“But, girl, you're really not...”  
“I said, I'm fine, mom and anyway, you should go now, you're running late!”  
Her mother had to admit defeat now, and with a sigh she packed up and bustled around the kitchen a bit, collecting her lunch box and then her purse and keys. Then, having all packed together, she rolled Astrid into the living room, setting her up with some books and her tablet.  
And then she was gone.  
Astrid was alone now and urgh. It was terrible. For a while she tried to distract herself by turning on the TV, zapping through the channels, but as it was the norm for this time of day, there was only crap running, so she quickly turned it off again, happily contending herself with reading.  
However, the book didn't turn out too interesting either.  
So, internet.  
But then again, she had neglected Tumblr, Facebook or Instagram and didn't really feel on picking them up again  
So, what should she do now, just as the tablet was running?  
On the screen a window popped up with a soft pling and Astrid took a glance at it. Mail from Heather. The other girl had – metaphorically – thrown her address at Astrid's head and insisted they'd stay in touch.  
With a sigh she ordered: “Open. E-mail.”  
Oh, the wonders of modern technology that allowed her to program a device to recognize spoken orders and to write after her dictate. It made life a lot easier indeed.  
"Hey, Astrid!  
Cheerful and friendly and calmly upbeat as ever. Yep, Heather, alright.  
I haven't heard from you since you've got released. Hope you're doing ok? There anyone you wanna roll over? I can tell you how to do that – hey, we could use my brother for practice, wouldn't do much damage anyways. He's kinda tough.  
Anyways. There's a bit of a meet-up coming up in six weeks, at the spinal center. I mean, yeah, we are there much of the time anyways, bit it's a bit like a class reunion with some older folks thrown in too, and the food is pretty good as well. I'm writing about this because I know school will have started again over at your place and we both know how tricky it can be to go places, right? So, basically... if you wanna come, you now have enough time to organize it. If you don't, it's ok. I don't feel up to this stuff pretty often. School's hard enough as it is, without traveling six plus hours every few months.  
Also, you ARE into of Billy Talent, right? I got Afraid of Heights yesterday (finally. It's been out for what, only a year?) and I think I will have driven mom nuts by the end of the week with it. (If you haven't heard it yet, spoilers: you will love This is our War. Look into the attachments of the mail, will you?  
Also, you promised to send me pictures of your cat. Well, I'm waiting! Come on, I'm dying to see her!  
With that, I leave you with one more thing:  
WATCH  
YURI!!!  
ON  
ICE  
Seriously, watch it. Even if you're not into anime, watch it. It came out last fall and the first season is twelve episodes long and in itself concluded, but wow, am I looking forward to the next season – anyways, it's cool for checking out. And the English dub is hilarious!"  
Well, Astrid wasn't into anime. Considering how Heather had always broken her composure to squee about whatever when her favorite shows had come up, Astrid was very sure she didn't really feel the desire to change that.  
“Answer. E-mail.”, she ordered, and the window changed.  
“Must be one hell of a show. Your mail reads like you've been in full fangirl mode”, she said and watched the words appear on screen. “Thanks for the song. I'm more of a casual fan, so the album release kind of passed me by and recently I wasn't that up to such stuff. Thanks again.”  
She paused for a moment, thinking about what to say next before continuing. “The meet-up sounds interesting. I have a check-up around the same time. I need to check the dates, though. So maybe I'll come and stay the night somewhere if that's possible. Gonna look it up. Thanks for your mail. I'll tell my mom to take some pictures of Stormfly and send them to you tonight. Thank you.”  
The cursor blinked.  
With a final sigh, Astrid said: “Send. E-mail.”

After that she stared at her phone for a while. She had socialized today. That was a start.  
“Stormfly! Stormfly, Sweetie...”  
And her cat was coming to her as well, jumping up into her lap and then climbing onto her shoulder.  
She sighed, rubbing her cheek against the blue knit that covered her cat's side.  
Stormfly broke into a loud, happy purr.  
At least she had that. It wasn't enough; it would never be enough, but at least she had that.  
Still. Hiccup was missed dearly.  
But then again, maybe next time he showed up he would only be delivering a break-up note. Maybe he wouldn't even show up to do that.  
Well, it was probably well in his right, right? Astrid had said awful things to him last night, and she desperately wanted to apologize – but then again, it was only the truth. Hiccup could move around. His life didn't have to change. If he decided Astrid was too much work, then well, he just had to dump her. Or maybe he wouldn't even do that. He might just stay away, break off all contact and find himself someone else if he felt so inclined. At this point, Astrid doubted he'd have trouble picking up a new girlfriend. Also, he might start working at the shelter again.  
Astrid was a disruption; that was for sure.  
She really should be grateful that he had stuck around for as long as he had.  
And she was.  
And she really, really could understand if he'd wish to move on, she really did.  
Didn't make the thought any less depressing, though.

Hiccup for all his life could not remember Astrid's house ever having looked so intimidating.  
Then again, he and Astrid never before had that bad a fallout before, even though there had been some... interesting rows in their relationship.  
It hadn't been like this, though. It hadn't been bad enough for them not to talk for three days.  
He stared at the door and already raised his hand to ring the bell.  
Then again, Astrid would not answer the door, and her mom was at work. Also, he was in possession of a key for quite some time now.  
Still, it was only appropriate for him to announce himself, right? Not, that Astrid would automatically know it was him ringing the bell – urgh.  
Toothless on his shoulder mewled softly, and he sighed. “All right, all right.” Softly, slowly he pressed the button and listened to the chime.  
No sound from indoors, so he carefully took the key and unlocked the door.  
Upon entering the house, he heard some screamo rock music. (Which translated to “agitated state of mind” if you spoke Astrid.) Well, it did make it easier to find her.  
Astrid was in the living room, reading a book, occasionally flipping a page with her mouthstick. In-between her head gently rocked in tune with the music.  
“Uh...”, he mumbled softly and unheard, “uh, hi.”  
Toothless effortlessly jumped from his shoulder and hurried over to her. As always, when he was at medium speed, his limp became more pronounced. The cat was used to either stroll at leisure or run, jump and climb at full speed and had adjusted his movements accordingly to make up for the missing leg as much as possible. Medium speed was something this furry little ball of extremes Hiccup called his best friend didn't use very often. It showed.  
Astrid's head twitched as Toothless jumped into her lap. “Audio. Player. Out.”  
The music died.  
“Hi, Toothless.” There was a smile in her voice, Hiccup noted with immense relief. There was hope.  
Indeed, after a moment's silence, she added – somewhat less smiling, more cautious – “Hi, Hiccup.”  
“Hi, uh... I hope I didn't interrupt anything?”  
He heard her let out a deep breath. “Depends on how long you plan to stay and why you're here.”  
“I...” Urgh, this was tough. “Well...”  
Astrid didn't turn. “If you wanna break up with me, ok.”  
What?  
“What?”, Hiccup asked, very slowly, rolling her words around in his head. And then, once again he asked: “What?”  
“I mean it,” she continued, “Really, if you think this is better for you, it's ok. You can't circle around me all your life, right?”  
“Don't plan to.” Well, that was the truth, but yeah, even he realized, that had come out wrong.  
Astrid swallowed.  
“Doesn't mean you get rid of me, though,” he quickly added. “Quite the opposite.”  
Astrid now turned her chair around, facing him. Her face was quite pale, but her eyes were dry and clear. “Why?”  
Toothless meowed in her lap.  
She glanced down at him as if she wanted to cuddle him.  
“Sorry.” Hiccup sighed. “For leaving. I didn't know what to say.”  
“And now you do?”  
“Kinda. Kinda not. It's more like that I know what to do.” He scratched his neck and then he found himself smiling if a bit lopsided.  
Astrid looked up to him, and now her mouth was quirking just a tiny bit. “What would that be?”  
Hiccup forced himself to look at her. “I can't fight your battles for you.”  
Hiccup wanted to step closer, but his feet were screwed tight to the ground and heavy and hard. “Never asked that of you. Never would.”  
“Yeah, but I did.” His eyes stung. “Well... do you want me with you?”  
Now it was Astrid's turn to look at him with rather wide eyes. “You're kidding, right?”  
“If you don't want to be with me for whatever reason, I'll leave now, and we'll see how it works out in school.” Now, at last, his feet deigned to be moved, and he stepped up to her. “If you still want me, though, you know about my glue-y tendencies, right?”  
Astrid still blinked at him. “And this is not some weird pity-thing, because if it is, I'll drive you over right now and then into the next wall, are we clear? And depending on my self-pity levels I might run myself into a tree for having misjudged you so much, let's hope not, though.”  
Oh god. Oh god, yes. He started giggling with relief. “Save the fuel, will you?”  
Astrid still blinked at him and then Hiccup saw how the light started to reflect differently in her eyes, more shimmer, more wetness.  
“Hey, I mean, if you don't actually want to... I mean...”  
“Idiot.” OH, she was crying, fuck, fuck, fuck... Hiccup looked around, whether there was some tissue he could use and found a roll of kitchen tissues, ripped off a piece and started dabbing her face with it.  
“Damn... sorry, sorry...” Astrid's voice came out broken and scratched. “Sorry, I don't really wanna...”  
“Sh... it's ok, it's...” Hiccup laughed nervously. “I think, I've never seen you cry... I... what can I do?”  
“Nothing, idiot!”, she sobbed. “Just... stay, ok?”  
He wrapped his arms around her and drew her closer, leaning her body against his.  
There was not much he could do aside of holding her, stroking her hair and whispering words into her ear that he hoped sounded reassuring and calming and comforting.  
It took a while. In fact, it took a long while, bit finally, finally the shivering and sobbing eased up. Astrid's head leaned against him as her breathing evened out.  
“So...”, she sighed. “That means you're stuck with me now?”  
“Nope.” He shook his head. Interesting, his first instinct would have been to say yes, but first off, it wasn't true and second, he was pretty sure that this was not the thing Astrid wanted or needed to hear, so better turn off the slightly ironic, playful stuff now.  
Astrid smiled. “Thanks.”  
Hiccup finished dabbing her face dry.  
“Nose.”  
He wrapped the paper around the offending facial structure, and she blew. “Thank you,” she mumbled, as he crinkled the paper and threw it on the table to dispose of it later.  
“Oh... didn't you say the others were free today?”, she finally asked.  
“Yeah, I did.”  
Astrid managed a smile. “Good. Time to let them know I'm still alive, eh?”  
“Sure?” That was quite a turn in the mood and Hiccup did not know whether to trust it yet.  
“Hm. I think.” Astrid nodded. “Yeah. I only can know it, when I'm there right?”  
Oh. Ok. Hiccup nodded. “Oh... yeah.” To be honest, even though he didn't trust this turn completely, but it was a nice turn.  
“You help me get my hair fixed? I know it's a mess, don't look at me like that, I know it is!”  
“Yeah, gladly. I'll get the comb.”

It was a good day. Hiccup had braided Astrid's hair into a simple plait and at her insistence had held up two mirrors for her to admire his work.  
“You've gotten quite good at this,” she had remarked.  
“Yeah... I figured I should practice a bit.” He tucked a strand behind her ears. “I gonna have my hands on your hair a lot anyways, so I might as well do something useful with it.”  
He then had carried her out of the door, then the wheelchair and after he had placed her back in it, they had left.  
The afternoon was nice. It was peaceful.  
Astrid was greeted.  
No comments were made.  
She chatted wit the twins about how the soccer team was doing, handing out comments and advice about the strengths and weaknesses of individual team members and how she herself had dealt with it.  
Snotlout and Hiccup in the meantime discussed with Fishlegs their little study group. Fishlegs was a merciless tutor and while both Snotlout and Hiccup appreciated his ability to explain and to get them to improve their grades, they sure loved to complain about him and his insanely strict standards – only to obey these standards anyways, because, well – their grades had improved considerably since Fishlegs had started tutoring them.  
And no funny looks. Maybe because they had seen her bed-bound and trying to fight her way back onto her legs. Maybe this here was an improvement. Who knew.  
Whatever the reason, Astrid was grateful for it.  
“Urgh,” Snotlout sighed, “Can't believe next week we're back in school again.”  
“Yeah, summer went by kinda fast,” Fishlegs agreed, feigning wistfulness. Out of them, he was the only one looking forward to school starting again, but well, they all had their quirks and weirdnesses, they had to accept those about one another.  
“Y'know,” Rufnutt suddenly remarked, face upturned in that fashion, that almost always heralded one of these unexpectedly sharp observations she and Tuffnut were prone to, “does our school have an elevator?”

Turned out it didn't.  
“Great.” Astrid sighed as they turned away from the school building. “Now let's hope my classes this year don't require too much stairway climbing, eh?”  
“We'll get you up and down,” Snotlout promised instantly.  
“Thanks.” Again, Astrid sighed. “But you do know, that we have to deal with this thing for two years, right? You can't carry me around all the time.” She wanted to shrug but had to contend with pulling a face. “Ok, anyways... I think we all could do with a bite to eat? I'm kinda hungry.”  
At least their favorite burger joint had an outdoor terrace; it saved them from having to deal with yet another stairway and too tight passages between booths and tables.  
“Any plans for next week?”, Snotlout asked, carrying the tray with his and Fishlegs burgers, drinks and sides of fries.  
“None here, yet,” Fishlegs shrugged.  
“Practice and surviving summer school,” the twins declared in unisono. “Hiccup?”  
“Stop that!”, Astrid complained. “You're creepy when you do that, and you know it!”  
“Uh, yeah, that's why we're doing it,” Tuffnut agreed. “So? Hiccup?”  
“Nope, none so far.”  
“I got an assignment at the center,” Astrid said. “Wednesday. There'S also a sports event there I wanna watch.”  
“Didn't know you guys could do sports,” Snotlout commented.  
“Well, me obviously not,” Astrid remarked. “but you know, there are folks who can use their arms and their upper body, right?”  
“Uh... right.” Snotlout looked down on his burger. “Yeah. Sorry.”  
“Want me to come with you?”, Hiccup asked.  
“Only if you don't have other stuff going on?”  
“Eh...” Hiccup shrugged. “Not really, I thought I might drop by...”  
“That's it,” Astrid said, “Mom's driving me anyways. You wanna give me my fries now or what?”  
Hiccup sighed. And then nodded and fed her one fry after the other, while munching his wedges in between.

Astrid had to admit that it was a relief when she had her mother lift her out of the car and into the wheelchair.  
She had spent most of the last few days out with her friends and while she would never lay claim to having made an effort – that would have implied some resentment or revulsion on her side to overcome – it had been a bit exhausting, and she found herself actually looking forward to seeing Heather again.  
She mumbled something about this and immediately regretted it since her mother made that “Oh my dear, poor little girl, I am so proud of you!” face Astrid was so utterly sick of seeing.  
“Thanks,” she sighed when finally being in her chair again.  
“You want me to come with you?”, her mom asked.  
“Dunno,” Astrid admitted, “I mean, the check-up is pretty boring, you know that. If you pick me up in two hours? You can go shopping here, right? They got this handcrafted soap shop you like in town.”  
“Sure?” Her mother raised an eyebrow. “Are you really sure?”  
“Really, mom. Dr. Meyers won't tell me anything neither you nor I haven't heard before.” And well, it wasn't like she would tell her she would be able to walk again.  
“If she's got any news, I'll call you, ok? Until then you have yourself a few fun hours.”  
Juliet Hofferson finally relented. “Ok.” she kissed her on the cheek and then Astrid was blissfully on her own again.

As she had predicted, Dr. Meyers could not tell her anything new, even though he did comment on her general health having improved.  
“Being at home agrees with you?”, she asked, smiling.  
“Seems like it,” Astrid answered, smiling. “Kinda nice not to have your boyfriend having to take several hours hours of train rides per week to see you.”  
“How did your adjust?” Dr. Meyers placed a juice box with a straw on a chin-high tray next to her head.  
“Thanks.” She turned her head, managed to grasp the straw and took a sip. “It's kinda ok. MY mom is checking up on how to install a ram at our front door and an elevator at the staircase With the rest, I'm dealing.”  
“How are your friends?”  
“Great!” Astrid flashed her an honest grin.  
The smile was returned. “Glad to hear that. You gonna need that support, just a heads-up – school's starting soon, right?”  
Urgh.  
Astrid nodded. “Yup.”  
“You don't look like you expect an easy going. I'm tempted to say that's good.” Dr. Meyer was still smiling, albeit a good deal less cheerful than before. “You know, if you need resources, legal advice or anything in that direction, we are pretty well connected here, you know that, right?”  
Astrid blinked, while she tried to figure out what Dr. Meyers was trying to tell her. “Uh... I think...”  
“Well, if you didn't know before, you most certainly do know now.”  
“Oh...”  
“And what do we do with resources?”  
Ah. Ah!  
“Are you trying to tell me I should sue my school?”  
She shrugged. “Only of they try and make life troublesome for you. Which might happen.”  
“Ok.” Astrid nodded, slowly. “Thank you.”

At the very least, meeting up with Heather was a lot less ominous than the talk with Dr. Meyers and the wheelchair rugby match was awesome enough to get Astrid screamed herself hoarse at the end of the day.

School was even more of a hassle than they all had feared.  
The first day passed all-right-ish.  
Hiccup and crew insisted on picking her up from home and then leisurely stroll to school, instead of walking at their usual, brisk pace.  
“Guys, you do know, that I can speed up with this thing, right?”, she asked, mildly annoyed.  
“Yep,” Snotlout answered cheerfully, “But this is too nice a morning to rush to school, ain't it?”  
We're missing the assembly!”, Astrid countered.  
“And at which point in history has a school-year-opening assembly ever been interesting or important?”, Tuffnut countered.  
Even Fishlegs – Fishlegs – nodded in agreement.  
They arrived well after the assembly, peacefully heading to the main gate.  
Hiccup held Astrid, while Snotlout and Tuffnut carried the wheelchair up the stairs and then up the stairs and then up to the second floor.4When they finally arrived at homeroom class, the boys were sweating.  
“You're right, I guess,” Snotlout admitted, “No way we can do this throughout the whole school year, let alone two.”  
Astrid, placed back into her seat, blew into her straw and rolled on.  
From the outside they already hear animated chatter and greetings being exchanged.  
Navigating herself through the door was a bit tricky, but manageable. With a bit of practice, she would be able to do this on a daily basis without breaking into a sweat, she hoped.  
The moment she passed through the door, though, the laughter and the talking died.  
Urgh.  
Stares.  
Stares, all the stares. “Morning,” she mumbled and rolled somewhere where she might not block any passageways or lines of views. It was a place in the back she settled for.  
She would have to record class, and it probably would not work to well from this spot, but nonetheless, she snapped an order to her phone to open a voice recording app.  
“Uh...” A girl Astrid recalled to be named Hannah watched her intently as she did so. “You really need to do this?”  
Before summer break Hannah had been both kind of leery and kind of admiring of her.  
Right now he was not just kind of judging, it was outright judging. Urgh.  
“Well, it's not like I can make notes, right?”, Astrid remarked.  
“But recording classes is forbidden!”, Hannah argued.  
“What?”  
“Yep.” she nodded. “Dunno why, but it is. Or why do you thing nobody ever does this?”  
Well, maybe it wasn't necessary for anyone else to do so, but Astrid elected not to comment on this.  
And their homeroom teacher showed up, smiling with an energy any of them were only able to possess shortly after vacation. “Morning, class, and welcome back! You all ready?”  
“Record,” Astrid mumbled.

The first three weeks passed by and it was mostly ok.  
Astrid ended her first day back in school dictating a mail to the school board about the necessity of a stairway lift, and after that she heard nothing about it for a while. She had a few discussions with her teachers regarding her recording classes; mostly because she used her phone to do so.  
In the end, she had to buy a digital memo recorder.  
“Idiots,” she grumbled, staring at the bill Amazon just had sent her. “Idiots, idiots, idiots...”  
“Well, phones are forbidden in class,” Hiccup sighed.4”So, I had to spend fifty bucks on this thing.” She furrowed her brow.  
Hiccup shrugged. “Send the bill to the school board. You need this for your education, and it's an unusual expense, so in my book the school board should pay for it, as something you need on the same level as your textbooks.”  
“Or they gonna argue that this is a replacement for paper, binders, and pens,” Fishlegs countered. “Which you won't have to spend any more money on, so no need to refund you.”  
“It's creepy how well you can think like a school board person,” Astrid remarked.  
Fishlegs shrugged. “Schools often think they are corporations. My mom's an economy lawyer. Any more questions?”  
“Not really, no.” Astrid sighed. “So, I can try, but I should keep my expectations low?”  
“Yepp.” Fishlegs sighed. “And in this case you might better let it rest then. There'll be enough other stuff to fight about in time.”  
Oh joy, Astrid thought, before her mind wandered to the current chemistry problem.

One week of school survived – just an eternity to go, and already Astrid felt the desperate urge to blow up the place.  
Friday was greeted with a deep sigh of relief from all sides of their little circle – finally a weekend, a weekend to sleep in and to do stuff that actually mattered, in stark contrast to learning algebra or reading James Joyce for the umpteenth time.  
Friday was the day to make plans, and Hiccup and Astrid listened intently as ventures and venues and trips were discussed.  
Ever since they had become an item their silence on these thoughts suggested date night plans and they were left to their own devices; if they chimed in, on the other hand, that meant they were up to collective shenanigans with either the whole group or parts of it.  
It was well established enough a system that when Astrid noticed how Hiccup gestured to her to please, please, please remain silent, it got her heart going, especially when he kept his mouth shut.  
They parted ways, Hiccup accompanying her to her house, Toothless happily purring on his shoulder. The cat hated the school year, especially school days since they meant Hiccup had to abandon him at the entrance gate and that was something that only served to make both cat and food dispenser deeply unhappy.  
At the end of a school day, Hiccup usually made up for it with liberal amounts of chin scratches and ear rubs.  
Toothless made up for it with liberal amounts of purring and cat kisses.  
“You should try and have him registered as a service animal,” Astrid suggested, watching the display of affection with amusement, especially since it had gone on nonstop ever since they had left the school. “They would have to allow him in.”  
“Not sure whether we'd meet the qualifications.” Hiccup sighed. It's not like I can't do anything without him around or...”  
“He helps your mental health and your ability to focus.”  
“And he's a cat. Service cats are pretty much nonexistent, at least officially registered ones. And you know – the school has to think of the kids with allergies, right?” He sighed “I was through this a while ago, you know.”  
“No, I didn't.”  
“Was just right after the accident, after I got home. Dad had looked into it, I swear, he adores him even more than I do. Maybe because Toothless isn't a little shit around him, most of the time.”  
The cat blinked with so much innocence in his big, green eyes that Astrid giggled.  
“Anyways, he never had proper training, and by now he's too old and too ah... headstrong.”  
Toothless broke into a loud purr, which Astrid, despite all reason and logic chose to interpret as “Damn right, headstrong, awesome and proud!”  
“I can make a claim that he's good for me, so I can take him with me to college, just in case I have to live in a dorm. So, we can stick it out for two years.”  
Astrid nodded. “Sounds good, but still... too bad.”  
Hiccup chuckled. “Admit it; you want to annoy the school board into quitting, that's why you asked.”  
Astrid blinked up at him in an expression of perfect innocence. “I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.”  
“Please consider yourself the perfect successor for my dad.” Hiccup sighed. “Anyways, you free tomorrow?”  
Astrid once again schooled her face, this time to an expression of ignorance. “I think yo. Why?”  
Hiccup was now fiddling with his hands, his face was flushing and – was he nervous? Oh goodness, he was actually nervous.  
Astrid decided to drop the act. “Ok, Hiccup, we've done this before. When are you coming to pick me up?”  
There were no words for the immense relief on his face. “The movie starts at six. So... five? That alright?”  
“Yeah. Sure.”

As it was usual with Hiccup, him being nervous and maybe just a little spaced out, he arrived at four, wearing a nice pair of jeans (meaning whole, not two numbers too big and – give or take some black cat hairs – clean) and a nice shirt (same standards applied here. Also, it had no large, bright comic book or band print on it). Basically, he looked like he did in school, very different from the shelter apparel he had cultivated for his free time over the last few years.  
And since he was too early, he obediently waited in the living room, while Astrid was getting ready, entertaining Toothless and Stormfly and probably gnawing his bottom lip bloody.  
A year of dating and a stable relationship still hadn't gotten him over that pre-date anxiety.  
Astrid found it adorable.  
Getting ready was a bit more of a challenge than it used to be, what with her needing someone to dress her and do her hair and her make-up.  
Her mom thankfully gladly did the deed, even though Astrid protested that Hiccup was used to dress her by now, he could help her just as well.  
“Tut, tut.” Her mother shook her head. “Don't care if he's dressed you for the day and undressed you for the night, don't care how long you've been sleeping together” – Astrid's face grew very, very hot – “You don't let each other watch your date preparations. Keeps up the suspense. Your dad was never sure whether I'd show up in a fur suit or something and me not doing so always brought great relief to him.”  
“Uh-hum.” Astrid decided not to inquire any further and without much fuss she had her mother dress her in a light blue dress, comb her hair over her shoulders and apply some make-up. It had always been nice to dress up a bit for a date and to see how a little eyeliner and mascara made her eyes sparkle. It was fun, especially since her everyday life had never left much room for this. Make-up was awesome and everything, but looking like a bloodsucking raccoon after practice was decidedly not so.  
Hiccups face whenever he saw her dressed up, however, was very much awesome and something Astrid liked to see very much. Another reason for continued efforts.  
He smiled and got up from the sofa. “You look good.”  
Astrid's cheeks warmed again, and she smiled. “Thanks. You too.”  
Her mother grinned. “Well, kids. I'm off to work then, ok? Try to be home at a reasonable hour. Don't get into trouble and have a fun evening.” With a last wave, she grabbed her purse and was out.  
“So,” Astrid finally said, “We go?”  
“Yeah, let's go.”

The movie was decent, a spy drama, low on bloody action, high on witty dialogue, some subtle humor and what had to be the single most hilarious car chase Astrid had ever seen. It had been a bit of a hassle to get into the showroom, though, but the staff had been helpful, carrying the chair and their drinks and popcorn until they were seated and ready to enjoy the movie. Astrid made a mental note to leave a glowing review on YELP.  
A stroll through town led them to a cafe with decent cake and coffee, and either they were prepared for quadriplegic patrons or Hiccup had called ahead to make sure they were.  
Either way, a very nice, very cheerful waiter led them to a spot near one of the big panorama windows, spacious, no other tables or chairs in close vicinity. Astrid could maneuver the wheelchair with ease. She got her drinks with a straw. That was it. Good service that adjusted itself to her needs. And good food. Really good food in fact.  
“I like it,” she commented. “We can drop by here more often.”  
“Yep.” Hiccup nodded. “They have a great breakfast menu as well.”  
“You know them?”  
“Yeah, I was looking around for places that would accommodate a wheelchair and didn't suck in the food department, so...” He shrugged.  
Astrid very much would have liked to take his hand. “You do know it's probably always going to be like this, right?”, she asked, carefully taking a sip of her cold brew.  
“Guess so.” Hiccup nodded. “admittedly, organizing this date was a little more complicated than before.”  
“Can imagine.” Astrid sighed. “And there are still those other things.”  
Sex. She was talking about sex. She was no stranger to the topic or the action itself, she really should be able to talk about it.  
“Yeah.” Hiccup sighed, wistfully. “Honestly, I do miss it.”  
Ugh.  
“And...” His fingers twisted. “And... fuck  
“Yeah, that's kind of the point, isn't it?”  
“I miss it,” Hiccup repeated. “But right now it's not a problem. Don't think it will be one for some time, honestly”, he continued.  
Astrid had always known her boyfriend was weird and not much like the buff, big football players she dealt – had dealt – with on the field. And God knew it had taken Hiccup a while to admit that he didn't even like the idea of being like that and to try being it.  
With that in mind, the admission was a lot less earth-shaking than it might have been otherwise, but still, Astrid found herself raising an eyebrow. “You tell me you don't care for it? Sex, I mean?”  
Hiccups face had taken on a rather lovely shade of purple. “Uh... well... not much. I liked it with you, really, but because it was you, so...” He shrugged. “So yeah, outside of that – not much, I guess.”  
“So...” Astrid took a few moments and some more sips of her cold brew. That was interesting. Hiccup had never so much as hinted at something like that. But then again, it was a weird topic to talk about without good reason. Which they had.  
“So...” Astrid repeated, her brow furrowing. “So... don't you think it's even more of a problem for this?”  
Hiccup, face back to a somewhat normal shade, shrugged. “Not so far.”  
“You think it ever will be?”  
He again turned color, although now he refrained from the purple. “Urgh... honestly, no idea. Don't think so, but...”  
“It might be?”  
“Maybe. Seriously, Astrid, I don't know.” He scratched his neck. “But... well... if it becomes a problem...”  
“Talk to me,” she mumbled and then, louder: “Promise? You'll talk to me?”  
“Of course.” He still had that sheepish expression on his face.  
“Good, because you can be damn sure that I will talk.”  
“Don't expect anything else.”  
“Good.” It would be alright. They would work things out when things came up. They could do it. It would not always be as easy as now, but they could do it.  
“So...” she nodded to the menu. “Are we going to order more cake or what?”

The other stuff that, according to Fishlegs, was supposed to come did indeed come up, three weeks into the school year. For those three weeks, Astrid had to be carried and wrote a continuing stream of e-mails to the school board, without ever receiving an answer.  
Three weeks in, they had their first quiz in history class, and Astrid had to sit there in silence.  
After class, she rolled up to Mr. Wardens' desk. “Well... guess, we need to figure out how I can hand in my tests, right?”, she asked.  
Break would last for about five minutes and then she would have to be in another room. Thankfully on the same floor.  
Mr. Wardens was already on the jump to his next class, but he paused, looking at her. “Huh. Yeah. Not like you can write or type and voice input while in class is probably not the brightest idea.” He scratched his head. “I can quiz you in the fourth period after school's out and take that for your test?”  
Astrid nodded. “Thank you.”  
“But we need to figure out how to deal with this,” he continued. “You've given this any thought before?”  
“Not really,” Astrid admitted. Well, the thought had popped up, but she had always pushed it aside again very quickly, due to quite a substantial level of discomfort that it had caused her.  
Well, she hadn't put much thought into her everyday life in general, and it had already bitten her in the ass without her noticing.  
Inwardly, she chuckled at her own joke.  
Mr. Wardens nodded and grabbed his bag. “Well, we gonna need to discuss this with the school board.”  
“I'll add it to the list.”

Apparently Astrid asking for special conditions for her exams and tests being taken was indeed something worthy of a reaction from the school board and considering the speed in which said reaction followed, they deemed it more imperative than the fact that, before exams Astrid had to attend classes to learn the contents, that were required to know in exams and tests.  
It took them only a week to invite her for a talk. Alone, of course, if she didn't mind, this was a confidential issue, surely, she would understand?  
Astrid did.  
Hiccup did.  
Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut and Snotlout did, they understood, and they knew.  
“Cowing you, that's what this is,” Fishlegs grumbled. “And that's a lot easier when you're isolated.”  
“Yes.” Astrid sighed. “I know.”  
“You need to insist on someone to be with you,” Snotlout declared. “This is like, legal stuff, right and you're, right, so you need an adult accompanying you.”  
“Yup.” Astrid nodded. “I think I might suggest for them to accept one of my doctors to accompany me if she agrees. She'd be bound to confidentiality.”  
Hiccup passed a paper cup with a lit and a straw to her, and she took a sip of the orange soda.  
They all were huddled – or in Astrid's case perched – over their textbooks, even though they all had long since abandoned any attempt at doing their homework.  
She took another sip. “Thanks. I've been reading up a bit on out state legislation about... this.” She nodded, in lieu if an all-encompassing hand gesture over her body. “I got a right to my education, but my school can't be forced to provide it for me if there are other ways for me to get it. In theory.”  
“Namely?”, Snotlout asked.  
“Homeschooling. Or a change of schools, for me to a facility that caters to my special needs.”  
“Both totally out of the question,” Hiccup added. “The only other facility would be five hours away. She'd have to move.”  
“No way in hell.” Astrid nodded, a grim smile on her lips. “Well, anyways any of you guys able to help me with chemistry?”

The meeting was on a Saturday, maybe because school board people had no social life on weekends and didn't want a teenager to enjoy such a luxury. Or maybe they didn't think a teenager in a wheelchair had a social life anymore.  
It pissed Hiccup off even more, and he was very much prepared to beg his father to pull any strings possible to do something about these people if they didn't stop making life for Astrid so unnecessarily annoying. If he had to, he might even take up that goddamn internship his father had tried to push on him for God knew how long. (Although hopefully he would not have to take such drastic measures. His dad adored Astrid after all and hated the people from the school board and did both with an intensity that made him forget his usual professional behavior, just a little, just once in a while, just to make it more difficult for the school board to screw them over.  
Hopefully, his father would be motivated enough with all this. No need to blackmail his son into taking a glance at a potential career most definitely not fitting for Hiccups tastes and talents.  
The meeting started at ten p.m., an alert and bright-eyed Astrid rolling to the school grounds, Hiccup at her side.  
One of her doctors – Meyers, Hiccup recalled, awaited them, dark hair swept back and a tense smile on her lips. “So. Ready?”  
Astrid flashed her a grin. “Born ready.”  
Hiccup, of course, was not allowed in the meeting, so he gave her a kiss and smiled. “I'll wait here.”  
Astrid nodded, eyes ablaze in a fashion that reminded Hiccup of her during a match or right before it, all fired up, ready to take no prisoners.

Astrid's eyes were blazing as she rolled out of the school, Dr. Meyers walking next to her. Her movements were controlled, almost stiff, but Hiccup was still pretty sure to see smoke leaving her ears.  
“So?”, he asked, jumping from the small wall that bore the school sign. “How did it go?”  
Dr. Meyers shot him a dark look. “Just between me and you two – my wife's a qualified pharmacist. And she really, really, really likes to bake.”  
“Well, that's one way to approach your problems,” Hiccup sighed. “That bad?”  
Astrid, eyes shooting daggers, set her jaw into an angry, firm line. “Well, all things considered, the schoolyear's gonna be interesting, what with me suing the very institution I am attending for my right to attend.”  
The first thing coming out of Hiccups mouth was a very heartfelt “Oh.”  
“Yup.” Astrid nodded.  
“Yes, that will be interesting indeed.” Goodbye, free time. Hello, internship. He sighed inwardly. His father was too much of a politician not to use this kind of leverage and too much of a doting parent to watch his son “waste his potential without even trying himself.”  
“You know my dad's gonna love this, right?”  
“Yep.” Astrid nodded some more. “And I am ver fond of the idea of him kicking these idiots around, all while I sue them.”  
“Won't be easy, though,” Dr. Meyers commented. “And just for the record, I still think you'd be through with this way quicker if you'd just let me tell my wife to fire up the oven.”  
“Prison is not really a nice place, I hear,” Astrid countered. “And good doctors don't grow on trees, so – long road it is.”  
“As you wish. Tell me, when you feel your blood pressure rising, will you?”  
“Will do.”  
Hiccup ran a hand through Astrid's hair. “Well, we certainly will get a kick-ass college CV out of this,” he commented. “You take up arms against a wannabe-autocratic regime. I take a whiff of the inner workings of local politics, hopefully kicking over some chairs along the way, then gonna decide it's not for me and then go straight back to the mutts and alley cats where I belong, just to add some variety.”  
“Sounds like a plan.” Astrid smiled, bright and still ablaze, but a good deal softer now.  
Dr. Meyers cleared her throat. “Ok, I gotta go now. Astrid, you call if there's anything up with this, right? If I can help, I will do it.”  
“Thank you.” Astrid turned to her. “I will.”  
She bent over to lift Astrid's hand into her line of view and squeezed it before putting it back. “And you know, if you want my wife to bake some cookies. For whatever purpose.” With a laugh, she turned around and wandered off to her car, leaving Hiccup and Astrid to saunter away, home, to the beach, through the town, whatever might take their fancy.  
“So...” Astrid sighed, face tight, yet eyes shining bright, that it made Hiccups chest tight with joy. “What'ya think? Can we do it?”  
“Hm... you're the main player in this. What do you think?”  
Astrid blinked, slowly. “Well, I'm alive. Still breathing. Still willing to kick up dust. So...”  
“Honestly...” Hiccup looked at the bright, clear afternoon sky. “The thing you can't to has to be invented yet.”  
Astrid grinned. “How about getting you to buy me lunch?”  
Hiccup paused. “And it's just been invented – I mean, you could get me, really, but my wallet... not even you can make the impossible happen.”  
Astrid grinned up at him. “That a challenge?”  
It would be ok. It would not be like before, obviously. But it would be ok. Maybe – very likely even – it would be fine as well.  
Astrid was ready to make it so.  
And Hiccup was eager to witness her.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I have NO clue about the U.S. legal system and the individual state's laws, so I kept this as vague as possible without writing utter cow cakes. 
> 
> This story was a commission by milleniumrex.  
> And... I am so grateful for this. Writing this story was... it was an experience and an amazing one as that (occasionally painful, but in the end, cathartic and ultimately - great.).  
> I know nobody who has quadriplegia themselves; however, I used to spend quite some time in hospitals and had to deal with life-changing (and potentially life-ending) revelations (and the occasional awful nurse. I swear, the older they are, the worse. Did nursing schools improve their curriculum? Let's hope that's it). A lot of that went in here as well, and Astrid got a good chunk of the frustration and anger and helplessness I carried around with me back then.  
> I do hope I could do this story and wombatking's vision for it justice.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and many thanks again to milleniumrex for commissioning me.
> 
> With lots of love,  
> Sibi


End file.
